Insane Imaginations
by c-wolf
Summary: Set in Red Witch's Misfit Universe. The McGuffin Device delivers some insanity. The Xmen might not survive.


Disclaimer: I do not own The X-men or G.I.Joe. RedWitch came up with the unique idea of The Misfits.

General Hawk, CoverGirl, and BeachHead appeared on Xaviers' doorstep.

"Why did you bring Sgt. Snuffles?" Hawk asked.

Beachhead shrugged. "Xavier said the Misfits were here. I need something to keep me sane." Then he held the teddy bear tighter. "It's ok. The mean mutants won't hurt you…"

Covergirl sighed. "He does have a point. Twisted as it is."

Hawk sighed, then reached up toward the doorbell. As he did, his communicator went off. "Yes?"

"General?" Dukes voice came over the speaker.

"What is it?"

"The McGuffin Device is missing."

Hawk was opening his mouth to reply when the front door opened.

BeachHead squeezed Snuffles to his chest as he ran away screaming. "I hate Woodstock!"

Hawk and Covergirl just blinked at the strange sight.

Xavier stood in the doorway with long hair and a dazed look in his eyes. "Are you my agent?"

Then the two dazed Joes stared at another Xavier in a wheelchair that rolled up behind the first.

"Xavier" Hawk asked.

"Yes?" Both replied.

Then the wheelchair bound one groaned. "As I said, The Misfits."

Hawk opened his mouth.

"And the McGuffin Device."

Hawk closed it again.

"And while we're on the topic…" Xavier groaned. "Allow me to get the questions out of the way. This is what I dreamed of looking like when I was a teenager… for some odd reason I gave him the last name Osbourne."

Then the Xavier with the legs in working order reached out and hugged Hawk. "I love you man."

Hawk's right eye started to twitch.

"Now if we can just find where the device is…"

In the background BeachHead ran out the gate and down the street followed by a maniacal coyote in a Flower Power outfit.

(insert Divider Line)

After convincing Xavier Osbourne to sit on the steps and count his toes, they made their way into the mansion.

Hawk looked at Charles.

"What?" Xavier asked.

"It's been our experience that the device brings out the imaginary enemies."

Xavier twitched. "I woke up this morning to the smell of pot, well worded lyrics sung to music I hate. And the most brilliantly stupid individual I've ever met, trying to use the heater vent to toast two scoops of ice cream."

"Never mind."

"Let's just say whatever lingering day dreams I had of being him went flying out the window once I saw what he was really like."

Then Covergirl stopped. "Professor, General?"

They turned and looked. "Yes?"

"Is that what I think it is?"

They blinked at the sight of two Scott Summers rolling around on the floor and hitting each other. One was wearing a mismatched set of clothes and a five o'clock shadow.

"Lived in!"

"Clean Living!"

Logan ran downstairs. He was wearing a shirt that said "Save the trees." Following behind him was a snarling Logan.

"For the last time! Don't recycle full cans of beer!"

They ran past the befuddled group and out the front door.

"Hey Guy!"

"Xavier?" Logan replied.

"Give me a hug!"

"No way man. Let's go hug that tree."

The former snarling Logan walked back in staring into space. "I'm going to destroy things in the DangerRoom." Then he walked down the hallway.

BANG

"For the last time! You cook the recipe for this long!" Kitty's voice was heard.

Logan came walking back down the hallway. "I found it." He said dazedly.

Jean screamed as she ran around and around the inside of the danger room followed by a 500 pound version of herself.

"Have some cake!"

Sitting in a corner was the McGuffin device.

Meanwhile, on the back porch, The Misfits were sitting and calmly drinking B.A.'s coffee.

Xi blinked. "Shouldn't we be worried about this?"

Lance shook his head. "The Coyote is bugging someone else for a change. And as for the rest of us, The X-men are enough. What could be worse than imagining them?"

"That." Althea pointed at a screaming Pietro being chased by a cross-dresser.

"Good point. More coffee?"

"Why thank you my good man."


End file.
